What do you want to change in the next year?
These are the typical questions rattling around in my head every single December. Generally my answers are ridiculous and I come up with a list of 10-15 things that I *kind of want* but don't actually intend to work on achieving past January 4th or so.
Yeah.. you can pretend like you see that smug little emoji frown-y smile guy right behind that last sentence.
Last year I bought Danielle LaPorte's book "The Desire Map." I started it but it was way, way too deep for me to brave it. I was scared of the answers to her incredible question…
"How Do You Want To Feel?"
Also, her perfect font and spacing intimidated the crap out of me. No lie. All my journalism classes and writing classes creep back in to my mind.. and I'm incredibly envious of a perfect font and space combo.
I digress.
December 2014 I did it. I sat down, I read the book, I cried, I brainstormed, I looked up words in the dictionary that I already knew the meaning to, then cross referenced them in the thesaurus, cried some more, found my perfect shiny gold words and their incredible meanings that shine a beacon straight to my heart.
Oh Danielle. Let me take you for a drink. Seriously.
So many years I say things like "I'm going to lose 10 pounds." Or "I am going to go to the gym 5 days a week and only drink alcohol on Tuesdays."
Snark Snark Snark
WRONG
I never follow through.
This year I've chosen FEELINGS. The ways I want to feel.
And I'm rolling with it. It's already working. My heart is so happy and full. Incredibly.
Consistent. Radiant. Love. Strong.
Simple. Incredibly simple.
Out of a list of about 150 words scribbled all over my copy of The Desire Map in bright blue ink (from a super fat pen, just like the kind my Dad used to order when he owned a fence business, the best pens on the planet).. those four words are MINE. They stand out to me. They convey the best way I could feel (for now).
Consistent. Because setting goals for weight loss or times in the gym per week or foods to eat or photos I'd love to take but never quite find the time… consistency is something I want to feel. I could subcategorize that one with organization but.. you can still be organized and not follow through. I want to feel that consistent feeling and the accomplishments that come with consistency are going to be so huge for me.
Radiant. Not like beauty. This is a tricky one if you're not in my head and heart (be thankful you're not, ok!). I want to radiate feelings of light and love. I try to do that anyway. But seeing the word RADIANT on my planner pages daily and in my home and surrounding me.. it helps me to remember. I need to be the light and the love I want to see in the world.
Love. Real talk: I wanted to feel LOVED. Except, I have no control over that. I can't make someone love me. I can't make someone show me that they love me. I am not in control of that feeling. So. Back up a bit. How can I change that around and still feel the way I want to? I want to feel LOVE. I AM the love. Thanks, Danielle. You're the best. Realization number eleventy, donezo. :)
Strong. This one is maybe more about a physicality than any other word and I sort of felt shallow for that, at first. But there's nothing wrong with craving the feeling of strength. Feeling strong and happy physically also leads to feeling amazingly strong and happy mentally. It's a never ending journey.
So.. there are my core desired feelings for 2015. I'm very excited about them and I love them. I gravitate toward them. The power of words is amazing!
How do you want to feel? I highly recommend taking this journey with Danielle!
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